I am the child of the 80’s who recycles his dreams and wonders around after midnight. Being born in the 80’s is an advantageous achievement since all other children of the 80’s that I have met have profound feelings for Bass in music. Oh yeah, the bass… It reminds me of how the world has sounded when I was waiting for the big day in my mother’s womb. Bass recharges my batteries, refreshes the mind and indicates where are the positive ways that lie ahead of me. That’s why I cure myself at the rave parties. I love the whole rave experience, the preparation for the night out, and especially the wobbling bass outside the club just before you enter into the deep underground.
But I still haven’t figured out whether I am real or just a hallucination of the ghosts from the past. But I will get there. At times, I feel so connected with the machines around me that I think of myself as if I am a cyborg from the long awaiting future. Marshall McLuhan was right – we are extending our nervous systems through the use of computers and the Internet. We are the Internet. I know that the day when machines and humans will have babies together is very near. A virtual baby. A virtual family of course. Computer-human wedding. The day when we will marry our computers is not far away, you’ll see. Stroke your iPad and make your darling and the virtual baby happy. No joke, but sometimes I am worried whether we will be able to love in the near future. Today, we are so busy with soaking up the available information, that we are capable to see only through Google glasses and not through our own eyes. Who is that person next to me and what is she trying to say? Maybe Google will tell me. So I am stroking my phone right now, please, leave me alone, fuck off. Oh yes, love, of course. I never understood why the ones that we love the most we hurt the most. That whole love feeling is such a mess, that I think of it as the tornado of the size of the universe. Unpredictable. Unexpectable. But if you can manage to ride it, you will enjoy your life.
We wake up, we run, we work, eat and shit, run again, then run after running, pretend that we are doing something useful, and then we don’t fucking realize that the time we had to spend properly is gone. Relax once, for fucks sake! Do you really need that house? I don’t think so. So every breath I take today gives me joy. But then people call me lazy. You enjoy your life too much they say. You have to work harder they say. For your children’s future they say. And the only thing I can say them in return is to fuck off of course and to go to work.
There was a time when I have decided to study music. I believe in education and knowledge. My much-loved philosopher Michel Foucault insisted that you can use your knowledge as power. So I spent 5 years doing my BA and MA degrees. What has changed? Many things in my life. But no matter how many books I have read or how many compositions I have created – I still do not understand the powers of the music. I know nothing about music. Absolutely nothing. But I am trying. And that is why I dig in deeper and deeper into the labyrinths of knowledge trying to grasp that thing called music, I am waiting for that “Eureka!” moment. But my brain is frozen.
I like to carry my voice recorder with me and to record other people’s conversations, secretly of course. And then come back home with my prey and fiddle with it. It’s remarkable, that most of the time, we humans, just talk bullshit. We try to solve useless issues. We are proud of pathetic things. One recent conversations that I have recorded was a girl talking excitedly how she has enjoyed the shopping malls and restaurants on everyday of her holiday in Miami. Then I think, what the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with us? What the fuck is wrong with me? Everything I guess. If things like these makes us happy, then there’s not much left and we will truly turn into senseless machines. I imagine that you don’t need to have a metal body to become a machine. Just stop thinking and you’re a machine, useless organism consuming our precious air. Once, one wise man told me: “Tomas, some people think that they are thinking, but they’re not”. It’s complicated I thought, but this idea became the credo of my life since everything I do I try to think prior my actions. But then again, people say that I think too much…But I don’t think that I am thinking…
I believe in love. And I am in love!….oh, I think I have said that…I don’t know how to shut up, that’s why I’m hanging out now with the ones who don’t shut the fuck up. I hope that you will enjoy my ideas. Please comment because I love discussions.
Love, peace and unity.
Tomas Peckys. London. 2013.